There’s more to meeting Alex’s needs than ensuring he remains safe and fulfilled of all of his nutrition and hygiene requirements. Alex is one of the most social people with an Autism diagnosis that we’ve ever met. He loves to talk to people and doesn’t mind physical touch. Fun story: we once had a freshly graduated psychologist come in to assess his IQ and after she left, contacted us with the results and told us that she didn’t think he had Autism because he was so social. And then we pointed out to her all of his other Autism markers placing him solidly on the spectrum. #stayinyourlanebabycakes
Anywhoo! Alex has had some recent behavior struggles during his day program at Wabash Center. I spent almost an hour on the phone yesterday with his behaviorist, Sara, and during that hour came to the realization that we’re all really great at meeting Alex’s basic needs but it’s time for us to educate his caregivers on moving further up Maslow’s hierarchy of needs beyond food, shelter, clothing, safety. Tim and I need to do a better job of ensuring that those caring for Alex understand his connection and communication needs and how to meet them. One of those early diagnoses that doctors threw out years ago was Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), which we don’t really acknowledge because we think those symptoms are part and parcel of his autistic need for consistency and stability. But one of those OCD-y things that Alex does is ask for his people. ALL. DAY. LONG. (Which leads me to believe that it’s really a stimming behavior – we’ll talk about stimming another day.) For a non-verbal human, this one NEVER. STOPS. TALKING. He probably asks for his people 200 times in an average day. I don’t really think about it anymore, but when he is with me all day I spend the day mindlessly answering and re-answering his inquiries.
Let me back up for a minute and tell you what he does, then I’ll explain it. Alex obsessively asks about his people all throughout the day. For example. When he wakes up after Tim has left in the morning he wants to know where Tim went. Then he signs for his sister, Mackenzie. The minute he gets home from Wabash Center he starts signing school. He asks for his dog, Maude (even when she’s lying right next to him). Then his staff (“gunner” – dont ask – we don’t know why), his brother Joe. Fire trucks. His horse. Santa, Rudolph. Camp Riley. If he’s seen his niece and nephews lately he signs for them. He asks for Lizz, his old para. Steve, his old bus driver. Pinky and Bear – long deceased dogs, his mom, grandma, the cat, the Boilermaker Special, airplanes, his wave runner, his bicycle…. and each of these questions has a very specific answer and if you don’t answer correctly (or god forbid, at all), his grunts get louder and he gets increasingly agitated until you address him and meet this need for human connection.
So. During my conversation with Sara yesterday, it occurred to me that part of the challenges he is experiencing during his day program may just be that the staff doesn’t know what he’s talking about or what the correct answers are: Dad’s at work. Mackenzie is at school. The dog is right beside you. You’ll go back to “school” tomorrow, after you sleep. Staff went home. Santa’s at the North Pole with Rudolph. It’s not time for dinner yet. Joe is in Chicago. Your mom is at work. Lizz is at school. It’s too cold for camp. Steve is at the bus garage. Your horse is in the barn eating and sleeping. The Boilermaker Special is in the train garage. The wave runner is at the lake in Kentucky. The Thunderbirds are in Arizona. Your bicycle is in the shed in the back yard….wash, rinse, repeat, 1000 times a day.
So if you need me next week I’ll be editing our “All About Alex” cheat sheet to include these signs, verbalizations, and correct answers to add to his communication binder for those who care for the loquacious little stinker.
Thank you for joining us on this journey, Tim and Paige 💙
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